Worst Case Scenario #14 - 'All Along the Watchtower' - A Scenario for 'Top Billing' A Pulp Game of The Golden Age of Cinema

Several years ago I created a set of simple skirmish rules to reflect the madcap stunts and off-the-cuff storytelling experienced behind the scenes of a movie set during the Golden Age of Cinema.

The first edition of the rules were titled 'Leading Man', but over time I've settled on a somewhat more gender neutral title of 'Top Billing'.

I dusted the rules off a few weeks ago, tarted them up a bit, and put on a game for The Friday Night Raconteurs.

Here is the scenario which I read to the players at the start of the game:

All Along the Watchtower

June 15th, 60 A.D. Watchtower XII, Camulodunum, Britannia

Messengers arrived last week, informing you that Gaius Suetonius Paulinus was extending his time away, campaigning on the island on Anglesey. You along with other elements of Legio IX Hispania would remain around Camulodunum, watching over the growing settlement of discharged Legionnaires located there.

Two Roman citizens, a pair of beautiful of sisters, have emerged from the forest several hours ago, road weary and terrified. They say they are family acquaintances of Paulinus himself, and frantically describe a Barbarian ambush of their villa. During the melee they were cut off from their house slaves and managed to slip away.

While they are clearly distraught, you believe it was a small localized attack, and not worthy of mobilizing the Legion reserve, near Londinium. Wanting to make your guests as safe and comfortable as possible, you have provided quarters for them in the local watchtower.

This small excitement aside, you and your fellow centurions from Legio IX are enjoying the tradition of the monthly dice game by the campfire.  You all gamble and drink until the early morning hours when you and your comrades hear the whinnying of horses, the stifled shouts of alarm, and the braying of warhorns…

___________________________________________________________

This is the story, BUT it is not reality.

The reality is that it’s 1968 and you are all on a film set. It is the last scene of an epic Swords & Sandals movie, directed by the notorious and tempestuous impresario David Mean and his genius cinematographer Fredrico Fellacio .

‘The British are Revolting’ (working title) is to be one of the last studio blockbusters to be jam-packed with top-tier actors. Each one of you is a YUUGE Hollywood star, and as such you are unaccustomed to sharing the spotlight. To add a fly into the ointment, the film has gone way over budget and the studio executives are arriving later today to shut down production. With this being the case, the David Mean is shooting as much film as he can manage and is allowing the actors to improvise and impress him with their skills. 

So, the stage is set, the Director is mad, the budget is through the roof, egos are raging, the script is unfinished and each of you is determined to have Top Billing!

David Mean on set capturing the ignominious retreat of one of the actors from the barbarians, er, extras.

The game focuses on the players attaining ‘Top Billing’ status by either having the most Fame Points by the end of shooting or being the last character to 'survive' on-set. The stars with the top three scores will have Top Billing on the movie playbill and be able to bask in the cinematic glory. 

But here's the rub, in the effort to gain as much Fame by the end of the movie, the actors will be forced to use their Fame to gain the Director's attention and foil the plans of any competing actors. 

An actor single-handedly attacking a group of barbarians with the camera capturing the action for maximum Fame Points. 

With this, the actors have to strike a balance between protecting their Fame while also seizing the moment to burnish their reputations. For example, any actor can interrupt the action of another by suggesting (read: demanding) a screen re-write. These re-writes can range from choreographing a complex stunt, making another actor look the fool or seizing the camera unit to get a closeup as they give a plithy line of dialogue. These 're-writes' are entirely up to the imaginations of the players and always create a huge amount of good-natured fun. In addition each screen re-write can be challenged by another star sparking an 'Ego Trip' where the conflicting stars try to convince the Director (GM) why their approach to the scene should be favoured.

One of the actors, striding by and taking a pose for the camera. 

Boudicca made her entry, ran over a few actors and later became a love interest(!)

At the start of the game I provided the players a wide selection of 1960s movie stars to select as their character. I played around with the actors' names and provided each with a special ability, unique to their cinema personality. Most of the actors' names and abilities I can't repeat here due to the joyous, puerile and prurient fun I had creating them. But as a tame example, Marlin Brando became Snarlin' Mango whose special ability was being able to confuse all actors and extras within 12" with his improvised lines and impenetrable speech (which the owning player had to exhibit during the game). Suffice it to say, some of the special abilities were pretty rude...

Boudicca's daughters causing a bit of mayhem in the watchtower.

I won't go into any detail on the game itself, but to say that the guys seemed to have a lot of fun with the madcap chaos set out by the scenario. Many ego-trips were had and the story-line was in complete tatters by time the studio executives arrived on-set to shut down production.


As the guys were such good sports, I awarded each with an Academy Award for their work on the film. 

The 3D printer comes through once again.

'I'd like to thank all the little people who made this possible...'

I'll tweak the rules a bit and perhaps roll out with another blockbuster this winter.

Next Up: More tall and pointy things for the Italian Wars

28mm Early Imperial Roman Officers

Here is my third entry to the Challenge. I'm planning a special scenario for the local group that is set during the Imperial Roman period and needed a few more Roman officer-types with whacky helmets.

These are a mix of 28mm castings from Wargames Foundry and Warlord Games. I believe they come from their Centurions and Optio packs but don't quote me on that.

The uniforms and kit are fairly fanciful, largely aligning to the Kirk Douglas and Charlton Heston school of ancient history. The reason for the absence of shield insignia on most of these models can be followed through the link above (which has a few more pics of these fellas) - it's all rather silly mainly due to the fact that I'm a complete muppet when it comes to working with decals.

Right now I'm working on my entry for next week's 'Rider(s) & Mount(s)' theme plus a few special entries for the holiday break. Now, to shoo away those odious carollers from the doorstep so I can get back to the desk...

From BrendonW: 28mm Cowboys, Roman Standard Bearer & Challenge Desperado (55 points)

From Brendon:

The entry fee cowboy is 28mm, Foundry, and Metal. Inspired by those blood splattered images in Curts post about the Challenge. My photos are not the best and sorry about his face being out of focus but I am a painter not a photographer. When I ordered from Foundry they were nice enough to send two bonus figures. However they are doubles of ones in the blisters I ordered but I did consider other gun slinging cowboys to send but I think this guys nice and unique looking.  I thought he might like this wounded, hatless, gunslinger.

I don't always paint eyes but I did on this guy. He may be the entry fee but also a thank you for all that hard work in getting our painted figs posted. It's been a blast. Cheers!

The Gladiator is Foundry 28mm metal and the Early Imperial Roman Army Standard is Warlord Games. An unlikely pair really. The Gladiator is a Dimachaerus (bearing two knifes).

What we know about this class of Gladiator is perhaps not as much as we know about other types. It certainly was not one of the more popular classes and thought of as much less noble than other types. That's what is generally thought at the moment in any case. Both painted with Vallejo paints and the Eagle Standard fella had Army Painter Strong Tone Dip painted on but then further highlights once dry and matt varnished.

The Cowboys with guns are Foundry 28mm and gets me very near to completing all the cowboys in my collection.

More members to the Black Hat Gang to cause trouble and mayhem when they go to town. You can see the two amigos, the tall hat twins and, sharp eye.

This is wonderful work Brendon and thank you very much for the excellent desperado. 

I also quite like the 10 gallon hats on those two cowpokes - you could hide a passel of heifers in them there chapeaus! Heehaw!!

The Roman, gladiator, cowboys and desperado will give Brendon 55 points. Well done and thanks again.

From BrendonW: 28mm Early Imperial Romans (56 points)

From Brendon:

Another bunch of toys I got completed.

These are 28mm plastic Imperial Roman Veterans from Warlord Games. I have been slowly building an Early Imperial Roman army (at glacial speed) but I was inspired to build and paint some more recently. This was after reading the most recent 'Macro and Cato' novel 'The Blood Crows'. An excellent Christmas present from the family. Still plenty more of these in my Plastic Mountain but these are the first of the Veterans box for me. The bodies are the same as Romans in the regular Legionaries sets but you get different heads, armoured arms (with different positions) and shields that have seen some action and need repairs or thrown away.

I used the Army Painter method. Paint them base colours then splash on some army painter strong tone dip. I painted the dip on rather than dipping them as it gives me more control. No flock on the bases yet as I haven't flocked any of the previous Romans so far either. Saving that until I have them all painted. As my previous Roman unit standard bearers they are positioned so that if you do not wedge them on the base the standard is not as up-right as you imagine how they should look in a traditional war games army. 

I had this bunch in a very, very close to completed way before a short stay in hospital and being well enough to get them over the line and sent to Curt is excellent. Good health everyone.

Great work Brendon. I quite like the grizzled look of these fellows. I also find it interesting that you mention applying Army Painter stain with a brush instead of using the dip approach. I've used the same method and have found I get better control of the shading effect, keeping it away from parts of the figure I want to keep relatively bright or unstained. 

These eleven Legionnaires will give Brendon 56 points to add to his growing total. Well done.

From BenG: 20mm Gothic Archers & Roman Skirmishers (30 points)

From Ben:

Here's a couple more stands of light troops for my late antiquity project; 1/72nd scale Newline Gothic archers and Miniart Roman skirmish troops.

The Newline figures, while very well sculpted and cast, all show the same pose, bar one. The look a little uninspiring as a group, somehow. I've jazzed them up using the brush bristle technique I used last year for bowstrings, which, after a little cursing, I managed to pull off.

The Miniart figures have the opposite problem to the Newline figures, though. Wonderfully dynamic poses with woeful production values! I persist with them because they're the best in this scale for historical accuracy and realistic, dynamic poses. 

It's a pity Italeri can't pull off similar poses; some of their figures, while showing excellent production values, are cursed by bizarre poses and historical inaccuracies.

You've done a wonderful job on these Ben. I find it very interesting to read your commentary on the various manufacturers as I'm woefully ignorant of the plastic figure industry. Nonetheless, I understand what you're saying about the mono-pose of the archers, but I think you've done them great service in adding the bowstrings (and the addition of that one variant pose really tips the balance for the stand as a whole).

These Gothic archers and Roman skirmishers will give Ben 30 points, with a little added for his extra effort for stringing those little bows. You're now within sight of your Challenge  points target. Great work!

From KentG: 28mm Napoleonic Russian Artillery, Infantry, Casualties & EIR Roman Slingers (425 points)

Kent smashes through his points target and moves to the lead position with this impressive entry of figures.

From Kent:

Today we a have several entries.

First up are six 28mm Front Rank Russian Napoleonic horse artillery with 4 crew each.

Three are 9pdrs, three are 6pdrs. These are the beginning of a new commission.

We then have one Regiment of 24, 28mm Front Rank Russian Infantry. Sadly no flags were provided by the client.

Next is twelve warlord games casualties, I didn't like these figures they are poorly made - just not nice.

Finally sixteen 28mm warlord games Roman slingers these are very nice figures a joy to paint.

Wonderful work Kent. Again we are treated to a bewildering volume of figures paired with such great quality - amazing.

This selection of figures will give Kent a very impressive 425 points. Great stuff Kent and congratulations on achieving your Challenge target! 

It's just a hunch but I suspect we may have ourselves a very exciting race amongst the point leaders over the next few weeks...

From AaronH: 28mm Early Imperial Roman Auxiliary Cavalry (60 points)

From Aaron:

The last six of my Roman cavalry.  Not much to say about these that hasn’t already been said.  These guys were done pretty quickly, but only because of the way I paint.  When I’m working on a set of models I like to have the next set standing by.  

If I have too much paint then I’ll transition to the next guys in the queue and use it up.  This works best, of course, when they are getting the same paint scheme.  In the case of this unit these models were about a third painted when I started on them this morning.

I also included a shot of all twelve of the cavalry.  They’ll be a nice big unit on the table.  With all of the newly painted units for this army I’m sure to lose the next game but it should look good at any rate.

You may loose next battle but your army will leave fabulous looking corpses. Great work Aaron! It's nice to see the whole unit all ranked-up and good on you for preserving through the lot as I know that painting cavalry can be a bit of a slog.

These six cavalrymen will give Aaron 60 points. Well done!

From AaronH: 28mm Early Imperial Roman Auxiliary Cavalry (63 points)

Here’s six 28mm medium auxiliary cavalry for my EIR Romans.  These are, again, from Warlord Games.  The difference is that I was very unhappy with these castings.  They are, without question, the worst models that I’ve gotten from them and I will not buy any more.  The flash was unbelievable.  There are large areas that are just formless lumps.  The white metal spears are crap.  I’ll be investing in a bunch of brass spears for all future uses.

Having said all of that, I’m pleased with how they look.  I love playing with cavalry.  I hate painting horses.  I used this batch as an exercise in painting horses.  I still have some things I’m not happy with; definitely room for improvement.   The faces need work and I still need to figure out how I’m going to do the highlighting and depths on them, I didn’t get it right on these six. 

I have another six of these to finish up and I’ll be done with my Romans, unless I strip the command models and re-prime them.  It’s tempting, hmmm…

Lovely work Aaron (though it would have been nice to have a better depth of field to better see all six models). I too find cavalry a bit daunting but I always feel great when they get completed. Good to know about your troubles with Warlord castings. I find one of the unplanned byproducts of the Challenge is that it can be a great resource for getting information, samples and opinions of a wide range of products.  Whiles these were real b@stards to clean-up I must say you did a wonderful job on them (I really like the cavalry mask on the standard-bearer) - well done.

This half-dozen cavalrymen will give Aaron 63 points, which includes a wee bit for the nice groundwork and shields.

From AaronH: 28mm Early Imperial Roman Auxiliaries (82 points)

Aaron continues to make inroads with his EIR project with this new unit of Imperial auxiliaries.

From Aaron:

Here’s another batch of EIR Romans.  These are sixteen more auxiliaries, the two missing command for the yellow cohort and the other fourteen models for the green cohort, also known as the Cohors V Gallorum.  

These are all Warlord models again, and the last of their auxiliary medium infantry that I’ll be doing.  The rest of my auxiliary troops will be alternative models, at least until the next legion needs some support. 

These guys painted up really quickly; I actually had them done before Christmas.  Being the third set I’ve done my hands were able to do the work while my brain wandered. 

I have one more unit, cavalry this time, and the command bases to finish and this army is done; at least as far as the models on hand.  I need some more legionaries, and cavalry, and more Numidian light horse, and some heavy artillery and… 

I guess no army is ever really done.

Great work Aaron! It's nice when you get so comfortable painting figures that your hands can go into autopilot and your mind can percolate on other stuff.  I often listen to audiobooks while I paint - I love the idea of being able to truly do two things at once. 

These sixteen Romans will give Aaron 82 points (with a couple extra as I know how fiddly those shield transfers can be). Well done!